What is Grief?
Grief is the natural response to loss, most often following the death of someone significant, but it can also arise after other major losses such as health, identity, or life roles. Grief affects emotions, thoughts, the body, and relationships. It is not a single feeling but a process that changes over time. There is no correct timeline for grief, and each person experiences it in their own way, shaped by the relationship, circumstances of the loss, and personal history.
How Grief Affects Your Life
Grief can affect daily functioning in ways that are often misunderstood. Emotionally, people may experience sadness, anger, guilt, relief, numbness, or longing, sometimes all in the same day. Cognitively, concentration and memory may suffer, making work or study more difficult.
Physically, grief can disrupt sleep, appetite, and energy levels. Socially, many people withdraw, especially when they feel pressure to move on or appear strong. Over time, unprocessed grief can contribute to anxiety, depression, or a sense of being stuck, particularly when the loss was sudden, traumatic, or unsupported.
What Causes Grief?
Grief is caused by loss, most commonly the death of a loved one, but also by losses such as miscarriage, divorce, estrangement, or significant life changes. The intensity of grief is influenced by attachment, meaning, and the circumstances surrounding the loss.
Grief may become more complicated when the loss was unexpected, involved trauma, or when the person grieving lacked emotional support. Prior losses and unresolved trauma can also amplify grief responses.
Why Professional Help Makes a Difference
Professional support provides a safe space to grieve without judgement or time pressure. Therapy can help normalise the grieving process, reduce isolation, and address feelings that may feel frightening or unacceptable.
Support is especially valuable when grief feels overwhelming, prolonged, or is interfering with daily life.
Therapeutic Approaches That Help
Grief therapy focuses on helping people process loss while integrating it into ongoing life. Approaches may include grief focused counselling, trauma informed therapy when loss was traumatic, and meaning oriented work to support identity reconstruction.
Therapy does not aim to remove grief, but to help it become more manageable and less consuming.
Who is Affected by Grief?
Grief affects people of all ages, cultures, and backgrounds. Children, adults, and older adults may express grief differently.
Some people seek support soon after a loss, while others reach out months or years later when grief resurfaces or becomes more disruptive.
What Recovery Can Look Like
Recovery from grief does not mean forgetting or letting go of the person who was lost. Instead, it involves finding ways to live meaningfully while carrying the loss.
Over time, emotions often become less intense and more predictable, allowing space for connection, purpose, and moments of joy alongside remembrance.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to still grieve years later?
Yes. Grief can resurface around anniversaries, life changes, or new losses.
Do I need therapy if my grief is normal?
Therapy can help even when grief is expected, especially if support is limited.
Can grief cause physical symptoms?
Yes. Fatigue, pain, and sleep problems are common during grief.
Realistic Case Example
Anne, a 52 year old teacher, lost her partner after a sudden illness. In the months that followed, she managed daily responsibilities but felt emotionally numb and disconnected. Friends encouraged her to stay busy, which left her feeling unseen.
In therapy, Anne was able to speak openly about her anger, guilt, and fear of forgetting her partner. Over time, she learned to make space for grief rather than suppress it. As therapy progressed, Anne found ways to honour the relationship while gradually reconnecting with work, friendships, and future plans.
Related Concerns
Next Steps
You do not need a medical diagnosis to seek support for grief. Therapy can meet you wherever you are in your process.